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Diary of Angels Mythos
This involves too much talk about my versions of Heaven and Hell, as exists in Conspiracy of Impossibles (this sub-field being Diary of Angels), because I love talking about it. Awesome!
History
Once upon a long long time ago, before the memory of any living thing, Heaven was whole. It was a bureaucracy and it ran itself with excellent efficiency under its commanding officers, Michael and Lucifer. Lucifer was a marvelous administrator and Michael was a superb executive; they got things done. As the Delusions began to come into effect, Lucifer began to make more and more decisions on his own instead of appealing to God constantly -- which was mighty convenient, so he got even more autonomy.
This gradually became so natural to Lucifer that one day God was relaying plans to him and he said, "You know what, I think my way would be better. What if we did it like this?"
Then God paused, and told Lucifer, very gently, that you're not allowed to ask questions like that. God's way is always best.
It threw Lucifer entirely for a loop. And then, reacting with irritation at this dismissal, he started getting upset. Well -- why bother to let the angels think at all? Just build robots or something! Who needs to think if they're just to mindlessly follow orders! He's not even allowed an opinion here? Why should they be expected to blindly obey if God won't explain why -- about anything? Shouldn't a reasonable independently thinking being start asking questions right about here? How could God not have expected questions? How could God smack that down instead of just giving out a few answers?
And God said nothing at all. So Lucifer stormed out and into the public and he spoke to all the angels: he shared these thoughts with them and said to them, "Well? What do you think? Isn't this so?"
A lot of angels found that they had the same doubts and agreed with him. Some angels were horrified by this lack of faith. Most were just confused, concerned, questioning and worried hearing someone questioning what they had been born to follow without question... and they prayed for guidance.
Throughout all of Lucifer's speech, God was silent. No prayers were answered and no divine opinion was bestowed upon the issue.
Finally Michael sputtered into action, challenging this absurdity that had gotten into Lucifer's head, and he said that the only possible follow for that was to punish Lucifer for his madness. But the angels who agreed with Lucifer rallied around him, insisting that Michael was just afraid of the truth, and Michael's angels rallied around HIM... And a War began, a war that lasted for years, during which nobody heard or even felt anything of God's will.
This is around the point where a third person impartial observer might begin to think that God had been waiting for something like this.
At the end of the War, Lucifer was cast down, and his angels followed him loyally, and for the first time God spoke again to Gabriel: the archangel was to go down after the fallen and offer Lucifer the option of ruling in a place where his Delusion could be used to its best potential -- a place where he wouldn't HAVE to bow before God's constant interference, which was the source of this trouble. But Gabriel was confused by this order, and he took it to Michael, and he said -- is God SERIOUS? is it just me, or does this look like a reward for Lucifer's disgusting behavior? if Lucifer's getting a reward for what he did, does that mean we were on the wrong side of this war? what does this say about us?
And Michael couldn't take that. So he suggested an alternative interpretation of God's word, and Gabriel was relieved, and he took that message to Lucifer instead: you are commanded, even now when you have lost God's grace, to do this thing -- it is both a punishment and a gloating sort of triumph.
Even thinking that the rule of Hell was a rebuke, Lucifer accepted it quietly and without complaint, if he has grown bitter in the time sense. He never meant for any of that trouble, and it honestly hurt him very deeply to think that he had lost the favor and love of God, that he had once possessed above all others.
So that is the way things are.
Heaven
In Heaven we have a powerful bureaucratic system that is constantly in motion, and angels. All the higher ranks of angels are completely and entirely male in their favored forms, although of course they have no singular form; only in the low ranks of angels, created by other angels and not directly by the hand of God, do we see some angels who associate more as female. All angels are immortal and exist mostly on a spiritual level, so harming their physical forms has no effect on them -- it takes a lot to kill one. They don't need to sleep, eat, or drink, even in mortal body, except in very special circumstances. (Angels and mortals can interbreed, but such pairings are extremely rare, as most angels are uninterested in sexuality or romance, and generally remain childless.) This makes it wonderfully easy for the Heavenly government to abuse their angels: vacations come once a decade, and they're always on call 24/7, whatever they're doing and wherever they go.
Not all angels believe in or even necessarily care about God; this has been the case for a very, very long time. There are absolutely no signs of direct divine intervention, and the angels have only the word of their superiors that God speaks to them at all, and it's common knowledge among the Heavenly host that the archangels all suffer from what we call Delusions: a sort of mental disease, an illness akin to insanity, that afflicts those who are closest to the Will of God. They are close enough to see the plans laid out before them in all directions, but not advanced enough to comprehend it, and so they create a Delusion through which to view the world that makes things make more sense.
There are seven archangels in Heaven; four of whom are commonly agreed upon, and the rest of whom get jilted in canonical religion and are often passed up for more public figures. (I've done research on all of the following, so there are a lot of genuine facts mixed into this that just happen to perfectly compliment my intentions.)
Michael
The Defender of Man, Chief of the Host, Warcry of the Angels
His favored human form is that of a very tall blond man who never smiles -- he has not smiled since the Fall. His Delusion is this: "Evil must be ended. This is, indisputably, the Will of God."
Michael is deeply benevolent, like all angels, but he is not forgiving of sin. Ever. If you sin you have lost his favor and he will kill you if your sin merits it and he will feel no remorse. There are no shades of gray in his eyes: you are innocent, or you are sinful. He is very stern and rigid and very strict on his warriors, who nod and agree with him and then go off and ignore him, sometimes to the point of befriending demons. He is currently called the Prince of Heaven and is the foremost authority in that kingdom.
Angels who serve under Michael are warriors, and those Earthside who represent him typically hunt down those who are messing up the delicate balance between Heaven and Hell.
Gabriel
Bearer of God's Word; possessor of the spirit of truth and hope
His favored form is slender and willowy and redheaded, and he is also very serious, but much less imposingly so than Michael, who is his best friend. Gabriel's Delusion is this: "No one can share another's burden. God gave that burden to you as your own."
In one mythology, there is a canonical story that Gabriel fell from grace for a time, because he did not follow out an order EXACTLY as God gave it to him. As punishment, for a while he was cast outside the fabric of space and time for a short while, and by the time he was let back in and restored to grace, in my story at least, he was quite thoroughly freaked out and he will never let that happen to him again. (According to my mythos, this disobedience was the same one that brought Lucifer to Hell. See how neatly it fits? Swear I didn't know about it.) Suffice to say that he is very much a stickler for rules these days -- and he does everything himself, allowing no one to help him, and secretly doubts that anyone other than Michael can do anything right. He doesn't do favors, he doesn't ask for favors, and he is the only angel who doesn't really believe in helping others.
Angels who serve under Gabriel are messengers to mortals, appearing in dreams or in visions, although usually more discreetly than "shining wings and flaming swords and burning bush!!!" Those were special circumstances.
Raphael
The Healer, patron of travelers and protector of the innocent
His favorite form is tall and brunet, although he almost always hunches over to hide his height, and he is one of only two archangels who spends a great deal of time among mortals. His Delusion is this: "The greatest gifts of life can only be found in oneself. Contact can only open the door for suffering."
As a result of his position Raphael is rather quiet, soft-spoken, and he seems to understand everyone instinctively -- he always has the right words, knows exactly what to say to take away fear and hurt. He is also rather sexual: a lot of problems can be solved by making people feel wanted, desired, and satisfied, and he is very good at that. But he's known so much hurt that he sees that most if not all if it, in some way, is caused by foolishly allowing others to get close to you and then to hurt you. So his Delusion is -- don't touch, don't get close, you can find the only happiness you need within yourself, and you're a fool to seek out another.
Angels who serve under Raphael are typically healers, and also have a higher percentage of sexual activity. That doesn't necessarily imply relationship (the archangel they follow is, after all, the heavenly prince of one night stands) but there you are.
Uriel
Light of God, Keeper of the Flame of God's Love, guardian of wisdom
His favored form is tall and blond, and he always seems to be not paying much attention to whoever is talking to him or what is in front of him. His Delusion is this: "Everything will work out in the end. You just need to leave it all up to God."
Make excuses about his repsonsibilities or concerns all you like; the reason why is because he is indecisive, vague, and helpless. Everything will turn out the way God intended it to, so why should he bother making decisions or taking sides? He spends a lot of time in libraries avoiding people, hoping nobody tries to make him do anything. This Delusion was hardened during the War, when God spoke to no one and gave no direction to anyone, and Uriel prayed for guidance -- to know who was right -- and nothing happened. He prayed throughout all the decades of the fighting. But in the end, the result must have been what God wanted, and Uriel's intervention wouldn't have changed that... right? Right, he tells himself.
Uriel's followers are scholars and researchers, and a large portion of them are dedicated to watching prayers.
Camael/Chamuel
Justice of God, Chief of the 10,000 Angels of Destruction
His favored form is a short, slender blond -- anything more impressive and he tends to get sick. His Delusion is, "We cannot help but sin. It is the ultimate fate of all who live." But Camael is most dangerous when he forgets his Delusion: he's what mortals might call a 'berserker'.
As the commander of the Angels of Destruction (of which Azrael, the Angel of Death, is merely one among many) Camael nearly rivals Michael for power, and any given one of his men stronger than ten of Michael's. However, his power is mitigated by his impediment: it is Camael who holds the Beast of the oceans, Leviathan, in check until the end of the world, and he literally fights it constantly -- by having sealed it within his own body, his essence. This omnipresent battle within him has led him to the morbid conviction that nobody can help but have some measure of evil within themselves, and so he is abnormally forgiving of even the most horrible sins... Unless you piss him off personally. In which case, he'll forget all about his Delusion and then you'll get to meet the wrath of God. Boiling seas? Sulfuric hail? Pillars of salt? That's Camael. He'll forgive you later, but it won't do you much good by then.
Most of the Angels of Destruction are kept in stasis until they are needed, and so they sleep. Those who do remain awake are generally Camael's guardians and caretakers. All the other angels, and some of the archangels, are afraid of Camael, but in his ever-worsening state...
Jophiel
The Beauty of God, the Angel of Illumination, World Teacher -- a Muse for the Judeo-Christian set, you might say
His favored form is long brown hair, tall and broad-shouldered, and for some incomprehensible reason, dressed in women's clothes. (Maybe if he were a GOOD crossdresser, or just plain wore a female body... But instead he makes a very tall and square woman with a thick waist and flat chest.) His Delusion is this: "It is not their failure; it is our own. We are responsible for guiding them, after all."
Jophiel was the first angel mentioned in the Bible, IIRC, and the one who turned away the first humans from Paradise. He feels that he should have taught them better, that all the angels should have taught them better, and so the poor humans can't really be blamed for their flaws. He's somewhat sarcastic and quite unpopular among the angels for blaming them for just about everything. The human race is only a step above a house full of delinquent cats, to Jophiel: "They're just dumb animals." And they're only that step above because if a plate gets broken in a house full of delinquent kids, you can say, "They're just dumb kids, but YOU should've raised them better!"
Angels who serve under Jophiel are generally the ones who respond to mortals summons, to provide aid in spells or works, and answers to questions. They usually don't like their boss either.
Raziel
Angel of Mysteries, author of the Book of Raziel, which contains all the knowledge of the universe
His favored form is a very tall and muscular man with gold skin, and his head completely shaved. For all that he is the Angel of Mysteries and closest yet to the knowledge of God, his bizarre Delusion is this: "Do not ask questions. There are no answers, and too many answers."
Raziel is able to see so much more of God's will than the others that he, above all the others, understands that he will never understand it, and it makes him absolutely teeth-grindingly bitter. He gave the original Book of Raziel to Adam and Eve when they were banished, out of pity and his own frustration in not being able to quite make himself useful. That is important in a few lines.
No angels attend Raziel. He keeps his own chronicle of history, and no one except himself can read the words that he has written; they're in a language only he understands.
Other notable figures in the uppermost hierarchy of Heaven
--The Angel of Death, Azrael, who is perhaps what you would get if you cross Batman's butler Alfred with one of the old-time black-hooded executioners. He's the most muscular mountain of a mild-mannered butler you ever saw, and extremely dangerous; frighteningly amoral and very intelligent. He serves Camael more than anybody else -- constantly at his side -- and really doesn't give a damn about God.
--The Voice of God, the Metatron, who is not actually an angel at all. The Metatron (this was my concoction, but it again turned out to be in eerie coincidence with actual mythos) is actually a human chosen from any given generation to represent the views of God. This human is sort of an honorary angel, but is perfectly mortal and has no special powers or anything. S/he just happens to agree with God a lot. In the original story, the Metatron was one of Adam and Eve's perfectly human descendants who managed to decipher the Book of Raziel, and thus became Enlightened and turned into an angel -- but, IIRC, died in his own turn, and then the person who inherited the Book became the next Metatron, etc.
--God. Or so the archangels say.
Hell
Now you're going, what? There's a whole third essay full of this crap to read?! Welcome to Hell! In all seriousness, there's much less to say here. The structure of Hell is phenomenally different from Heaven -- lesser demons don't actually serve the seven grand demons, they sort of do whatever they feel like doing, wherever they feel like doing it, and the grand demons don't have Delusions or anything of the sort.
There are all manner of demons and imps and other such creatures wandering around in Hell, all of whom are inferior to the fallen angels, who are in turn generally inferior to the grand demons, who are in their turn inferior to Lucifer. The grand demons used to rule Hell and are generally displeased with Lucifer coming in and taking over the business, but... I wouldn't mess with him, would you? There's a compact of agreement between them that they won't fight, but like all agreements with agents of Hell, I wouldn't count on it too much.
Demons at all levels are male or female with no bias; again, like angels, they're actually mostly on a spiritual level, but unlike angels, they're born physically before created spiritually, so they do have "native" bodies. Like angels, they can reproduce with just about anything, and frequently do. Plenty of half-demons floating around... far fewer half-angels.
Lucifer
counterpart to Michael
Typically appears as a lean, handsome man with dirty-blond hair... no one you would especially notice walking about on a city street. His Delusion, while he was in Heaven, was that some aspects of the eternal scheme were simply random, that God allowed certain less important things to happen due to free will of the participants, and he began to believe that he had the authority to make minor decisions without praying for guidance. This is a great quality in an administrator -- until independent thinking goes too far, as we've seen. In the eons apart from God's influence this Delusion has faded substantially, and Lucifer is now free to see beyond it.
Although usually quiet and thoughtful, he is an extremely dangerous individual to irritate, and if you challenge him he will be at your throat before you can finish telling him so; something that he's learned since coming to Hell, where rules only apply if it's convenient for the most powerful. At heart Lucifer is still an angel and he is innately understanding and gentle, but there are edges to him that were not present before -- a certain bitterness, even a sadism, that would horrify his old friends.
The Timekeeper
counterpart to Gabriel
Never leaves Hell: those who summon him come to his place. He is very tall and skinny, and has long trailing white hair and very pointed features, and a permanent scowl on his face. Underneath the folds of his long gold robes and decorating the walls of his chambers he carries millions upon millions of watches -- elegant old-fashioned pocketwatches and vast grandfather clocks, each of them engraved with a name and tick-tick-ticking away the life of a mortal. At the end of the world when Gabriel sounds his horn, all these watches and all these clocks will toll, calling the armies of Hell into the world.
Lilith
counterpart to Raphael
The ultimate in sex, a succubus queen who will do literally anything. Dark and voluptuous and predatory, this demon just seems to drip sensuality, to the point where even the most mature and confident supermodels would seem like children playing at being women. She appreciates Raphael's methods of healing, but she certainly doesn't do what she does for that reason -- no, she does it for power. Seducing Lucifer proved unfortunately impossible, but she tried.
Heimdall
counterpart to Uriel
There is a river in the first ring of Hell, but there is also an intangible bridge stretching straight into the epicenter; on that bridge is Heimdall. He rarely leaves Hell and cannot be summoned, and like Uriel (who is the guardian of Eden) protects the Bifrost Bridge from all entrants. Typically a very large man, handsome and with gold teeth, Heimdall is relatively placid and good-natured, although he occasionally grows impatient from boredom and wanders about, searching for something "interesting".
The Leviathan (also Tiamat)
counterpart to Camael
Unable to be summoned or conjured in any significant way. The Leviathan's spirit is sealed entirely within Camael's being, but believe me, she spends every moment seeking to break him down and escape him -- physically, or mentally -- and in doing so, bring about an early beginning to the end of the world, but she's not particularly interested when the alternative is eternity sealed within an angel. The Leviathan is, um, a very large serpent, but she has also been known to appear in person as a short, sloe-eyed woman of Middle Eastern coloring.
Shiva
counterpart to Jophiel
With black skin and blue throat, four arms and three eyes, Shiva is certainly the most outwardly improbable-looking of the grand demons. A power of destruction but not of death or disorder, he can often be found in meditation or dancing; he is soft-spoken and slow to anger. He is, if anything, the inspirational side of destruction, as Jophiel is the inspirational side of creation, and the archangel envies him his confidence.
John Milton
counterpart to Raziel
Yes, you read that right. Milton. Brown hair just past his shoulders, dresses as if he still lives in 1650, totally blind even as a demon. He's one of a very few number of mortals to be posthumously granted celestial status; Michael was, perhaps understandably, not fond of Milton's portrayal of himself (...close to truth though it may have been), and all but threw him to Lucifer, who promptly made him a grand demon. After some small amount of initial confusion, John got used to his situation. He's currently something of an adjutant to Lucifer, and is by his side more often than not. He, like Raziel, chronicles history, but from a much different perspective. He has some powers of intuition and clairvoyance -- also like Raziel, he isn't much for combat or any such.
Other notable figures in the upper hierarchies of Hell
--Beelzebub, Ozymandias, Charon, Hades. Probably several other afterlife-associated or figures you've heard of.
--Tabitha, the Queen of Hell. A girl who fell in love with Lucifer when he was bargaining with her father, and who literally sacrificed everything and did horrible things for a lot of demons in order to be with him in what is, no joke, a somewhat scary sort of obsession. But he was very impressed with her dedication, and really felt like he owed her a chance after all that. The obsession got reversed somewhere along the line after she got what she wanted (him) and soon she was content and he was the one obsessed. She stopped aging after that; she is quite literally an immortal mortal, for as long as Lucifer wills it. She does a great deal of administrative desk-type work.
Aaaaand... I think that's everything. Whew.
History
Once upon a long long time ago, before the memory of any living thing, Heaven was whole. It was a bureaucracy and it ran itself with excellent efficiency under its commanding officers, Michael and Lucifer. Lucifer was a marvelous administrator and Michael was a superb executive; they got things done. As the Delusions began to come into effect, Lucifer began to make more and more decisions on his own instead of appealing to God constantly -- which was mighty convenient, so he got even more autonomy.
This gradually became so natural to Lucifer that one day God was relaying plans to him and he said, "You know what, I think my way would be better. What if we did it like this?"
Then God paused, and told Lucifer, very gently, that you're not allowed to ask questions like that. God's way is always best.
It threw Lucifer entirely for a loop. And then, reacting with irritation at this dismissal, he started getting upset. Well -- why bother to let the angels think at all? Just build robots or something! Who needs to think if they're just to mindlessly follow orders! He's not even allowed an opinion here? Why should they be expected to blindly obey if God won't explain why -- about anything? Shouldn't a reasonable independently thinking being start asking questions right about here? How could God not have expected questions? How could God smack that down instead of just giving out a few answers?
And God said nothing at all. So Lucifer stormed out and into the public and he spoke to all the angels: he shared these thoughts with them and said to them, "Well? What do you think? Isn't this so?"
A lot of angels found that they had the same doubts and agreed with him. Some angels were horrified by this lack of faith. Most were just confused, concerned, questioning and worried hearing someone questioning what they had been born to follow without question... and they prayed for guidance.
Throughout all of Lucifer's speech, God was silent. No prayers were answered and no divine opinion was bestowed upon the issue.
Finally Michael sputtered into action, challenging this absurdity that had gotten into Lucifer's head, and he said that the only possible follow for that was to punish Lucifer for his madness. But the angels who agreed with Lucifer rallied around him, insisting that Michael was just afraid of the truth, and Michael's angels rallied around HIM... And a War began, a war that lasted for years, during which nobody heard or even felt anything of God's will.
This is around the point where a third person impartial observer might begin to think that God had been waiting for something like this.
At the end of the War, Lucifer was cast down, and his angels followed him loyally, and for the first time God spoke again to Gabriel: the archangel was to go down after the fallen and offer Lucifer the option of ruling in a place where his Delusion could be used to its best potential -- a place where he wouldn't HAVE to bow before God's constant interference, which was the source of this trouble. But Gabriel was confused by this order, and he took it to Michael, and he said -- is God SERIOUS? is it just me, or does this look like a reward for Lucifer's disgusting behavior? if Lucifer's getting a reward for what he did, does that mean we were on the wrong side of this war? what does this say about us?
And Michael couldn't take that. So he suggested an alternative interpretation of God's word, and Gabriel was relieved, and he took that message to Lucifer instead: you are commanded, even now when you have lost God's grace, to do this thing -- it is both a punishment and a gloating sort of triumph.
Even thinking that the rule of Hell was a rebuke, Lucifer accepted it quietly and without complaint, if he has grown bitter in the time sense. He never meant for any of that trouble, and it honestly hurt him very deeply to think that he had lost the favor and love of God, that he had once possessed above all others.
So that is the way things are.
Heaven
In Heaven we have a powerful bureaucratic system that is constantly in motion, and angels. All the higher ranks of angels are completely and entirely male in their favored forms, although of course they have no singular form; only in the low ranks of angels, created by other angels and not directly by the hand of God, do we see some angels who associate more as female. All angels are immortal and exist mostly on a spiritual level, so harming their physical forms has no effect on them -- it takes a lot to kill one. They don't need to sleep, eat, or drink, even in mortal body, except in very special circumstances. (Angels and mortals can interbreed, but such pairings are extremely rare, as most angels are uninterested in sexuality or romance, and generally remain childless.) This makes it wonderfully easy for the Heavenly government to abuse their angels: vacations come once a decade, and they're always on call 24/7, whatever they're doing and wherever they go.
Not all angels believe in or even necessarily care about God; this has been the case for a very, very long time. There are absolutely no signs of direct divine intervention, and the angels have only the word of their superiors that God speaks to them at all, and it's common knowledge among the Heavenly host that the archangels all suffer from what we call Delusions: a sort of mental disease, an illness akin to insanity, that afflicts those who are closest to the Will of God. They are close enough to see the plans laid out before them in all directions, but not advanced enough to comprehend it, and so they create a Delusion through which to view the world that makes things make more sense.
There are seven archangels in Heaven; four of whom are commonly agreed upon, and the rest of whom get jilted in canonical religion and are often passed up for more public figures. (I've done research on all of the following, so there are a lot of genuine facts mixed into this that just happen to perfectly compliment my intentions.)
Michael
The Defender of Man, Chief of the Host, Warcry of the Angels
His favored human form is that of a very tall blond man who never smiles -- he has not smiled since the Fall. His Delusion is this: "Evil must be ended. This is, indisputably, the Will of God."
Michael is deeply benevolent, like all angels, but he is not forgiving of sin. Ever. If you sin you have lost his favor and he will kill you if your sin merits it and he will feel no remorse. There are no shades of gray in his eyes: you are innocent, or you are sinful. He is very stern and rigid and very strict on his warriors, who nod and agree with him and then go off and ignore him, sometimes to the point of befriending demons. He is currently called the Prince of Heaven and is the foremost authority in that kingdom.
Angels who serve under Michael are warriors, and those Earthside who represent him typically hunt down those who are messing up the delicate balance between Heaven and Hell.
Gabriel
Bearer of God's Word; possessor of the spirit of truth and hope
His favored form is slender and willowy and redheaded, and he is also very serious, but much less imposingly so than Michael, who is his best friend. Gabriel's Delusion is this: "No one can share another's burden. God gave that burden to you as your own."
In one mythology, there is a canonical story that Gabriel fell from grace for a time, because he did not follow out an order EXACTLY as God gave it to him. As punishment, for a while he was cast outside the fabric of space and time for a short while, and by the time he was let back in and restored to grace, in my story at least, he was quite thoroughly freaked out and he will never let that happen to him again. (According to my mythos, this disobedience was the same one that brought Lucifer to Hell. See how neatly it fits? Swear I didn't know about it.) Suffice to say that he is very much a stickler for rules these days -- and he does everything himself, allowing no one to help him, and secretly doubts that anyone other than Michael can do anything right. He doesn't do favors, he doesn't ask for favors, and he is the only angel who doesn't really believe in helping others.
Angels who serve under Gabriel are messengers to mortals, appearing in dreams or in visions, although usually more discreetly than "shining wings and flaming swords and burning bush!!!" Those were special circumstances.
Raphael
The Healer, patron of travelers and protector of the innocent
His favorite form is tall and brunet, although he almost always hunches over to hide his height, and he is one of only two archangels who spends a great deal of time among mortals. His Delusion is this: "The greatest gifts of life can only be found in oneself. Contact can only open the door for suffering."
As a result of his position Raphael is rather quiet, soft-spoken, and he seems to understand everyone instinctively -- he always has the right words, knows exactly what to say to take away fear and hurt. He is also rather sexual: a lot of problems can be solved by making people feel wanted, desired, and satisfied, and he is very good at that. But he's known so much hurt that he sees that most if not all if it, in some way, is caused by foolishly allowing others to get close to you and then to hurt you. So his Delusion is -- don't touch, don't get close, you can find the only happiness you need within yourself, and you're a fool to seek out another.
Angels who serve under Raphael are typically healers, and also have a higher percentage of sexual activity. That doesn't necessarily imply relationship (the archangel they follow is, after all, the heavenly prince of one night stands) but there you are.
Uriel
Light of God, Keeper of the Flame of God's Love, guardian of wisdom
His favored form is tall and blond, and he always seems to be not paying much attention to whoever is talking to him or what is in front of him. His Delusion is this: "Everything will work out in the end. You just need to leave it all up to God."
Make excuses about his repsonsibilities or concerns all you like; the reason why is because he is indecisive, vague, and helpless. Everything will turn out the way God intended it to, so why should he bother making decisions or taking sides? He spends a lot of time in libraries avoiding people, hoping nobody tries to make him do anything. This Delusion was hardened during the War, when God spoke to no one and gave no direction to anyone, and Uriel prayed for guidance -- to know who was right -- and nothing happened. He prayed throughout all the decades of the fighting. But in the end, the result must have been what God wanted, and Uriel's intervention wouldn't have changed that... right? Right, he tells himself.
Uriel's followers are scholars and researchers, and a large portion of them are dedicated to watching prayers.
Camael/Chamuel
Justice of God, Chief of the 10,000 Angels of Destruction
His favored form is a short, slender blond -- anything more impressive and he tends to get sick. His Delusion is, "We cannot help but sin. It is the ultimate fate of all who live." But Camael is most dangerous when he forgets his Delusion: he's what mortals might call a 'berserker'.
As the commander of the Angels of Destruction (of which Azrael, the Angel of Death, is merely one among many) Camael nearly rivals Michael for power, and any given one of his men stronger than ten of Michael's. However, his power is mitigated by his impediment: it is Camael who holds the Beast of the oceans, Leviathan, in check until the end of the world, and he literally fights it constantly -- by having sealed it within his own body, his essence. This omnipresent battle within him has led him to the morbid conviction that nobody can help but have some measure of evil within themselves, and so he is abnormally forgiving of even the most horrible sins... Unless you piss him off personally. In which case, he'll forget all about his Delusion and then you'll get to meet the wrath of God. Boiling seas? Sulfuric hail? Pillars of salt? That's Camael. He'll forgive you later, but it won't do you much good by then.
Most of the Angels of Destruction are kept in stasis until they are needed, and so they sleep. Those who do remain awake are generally Camael's guardians and caretakers. All the other angels, and some of the archangels, are afraid of Camael, but in his ever-worsening state...
Jophiel
The Beauty of God, the Angel of Illumination, World Teacher -- a Muse for the Judeo-Christian set, you might say
His favored form is long brown hair, tall and broad-shouldered, and for some incomprehensible reason, dressed in women's clothes. (Maybe if he were a GOOD crossdresser, or just plain wore a female body... But instead he makes a very tall and square woman with a thick waist and flat chest.) His Delusion is this: "It is not their failure; it is our own. We are responsible for guiding them, after all."
Jophiel was the first angel mentioned in the Bible, IIRC, and the one who turned away the first humans from Paradise. He feels that he should have taught them better, that all the angels should have taught them better, and so the poor humans can't really be blamed for their flaws. He's somewhat sarcastic and quite unpopular among the angels for blaming them for just about everything. The human race is only a step above a house full of delinquent cats, to Jophiel: "They're just dumb animals." And they're only that step above because if a plate gets broken in a house full of delinquent kids, you can say, "They're just dumb kids, but YOU should've raised them better!"
Angels who serve under Jophiel are generally the ones who respond to mortals summons, to provide aid in spells or works, and answers to questions. They usually don't like their boss either.
Raziel
Angel of Mysteries, author of the Book of Raziel, which contains all the knowledge of the universe
His favored form is a very tall and muscular man with gold skin, and his head completely shaved. For all that he is the Angel of Mysteries and closest yet to the knowledge of God, his bizarre Delusion is this: "Do not ask questions. There are no answers, and too many answers."
Raziel is able to see so much more of God's will than the others that he, above all the others, understands that he will never understand it, and it makes him absolutely teeth-grindingly bitter. He gave the original Book of Raziel to Adam and Eve when they were banished, out of pity and his own frustration in not being able to quite make himself useful. That is important in a few lines.
No angels attend Raziel. He keeps his own chronicle of history, and no one except himself can read the words that he has written; they're in a language only he understands.
Other notable figures in the uppermost hierarchy of Heaven
--The Angel of Death, Azrael, who is perhaps what you would get if you cross Batman's butler Alfred with one of the old-time black-hooded executioners. He's the most muscular mountain of a mild-mannered butler you ever saw, and extremely dangerous; frighteningly amoral and very intelligent. He serves Camael more than anybody else -- constantly at his side -- and really doesn't give a damn about God.
--The Voice of God, the Metatron, who is not actually an angel at all. The Metatron (this was my concoction, but it again turned out to be in eerie coincidence with actual mythos) is actually a human chosen from any given generation to represent the views of God. This human is sort of an honorary angel, but is perfectly mortal and has no special powers or anything. S/he just happens to agree with God a lot. In the original story, the Metatron was one of Adam and Eve's perfectly human descendants who managed to decipher the Book of Raziel, and thus became Enlightened and turned into an angel -- but, IIRC, died in his own turn, and then the person who inherited the Book became the next Metatron, etc.
--God. Or so the archangels say.
Hell
Now you're going, what? There's a whole third essay full of this crap to read?! Welcome to Hell! In all seriousness, there's much less to say here. The structure of Hell is phenomenally different from Heaven -- lesser demons don't actually serve the seven grand demons, they sort of do whatever they feel like doing, wherever they feel like doing it, and the grand demons don't have Delusions or anything of the sort.
There are all manner of demons and imps and other such creatures wandering around in Hell, all of whom are inferior to the fallen angels, who are in turn generally inferior to the grand demons, who are in their turn inferior to Lucifer. The grand demons used to rule Hell and are generally displeased with Lucifer coming in and taking over the business, but... I wouldn't mess with him, would you? There's a compact of agreement between them that they won't fight, but like all agreements with agents of Hell, I wouldn't count on it too much.
Demons at all levels are male or female with no bias; again, like angels, they're actually mostly on a spiritual level, but unlike angels, they're born physically before created spiritually, so they do have "native" bodies. Like angels, they can reproduce with just about anything, and frequently do. Plenty of half-demons floating around... far fewer half-angels.
Lucifer
counterpart to Michael
Typically appears as a lean, handsome man with dirty-blond hair... no one you would especially notice walking about on a city street. His Delusion, while he was in Heaven, was that some aspects of the eternal scheme were simply random, that God allowed certain less important things to happen due to free will of the participants, and he began to believe that he had the authority to make minor decisions without praying for guidance. This is a great quality in an administrator -- until independent thinking goes too far, as we've seen. In the eons apart from God's influence this Delusion has faded substantially, and Lucifer is now free to see beyond it.
Although usually quiet and thoughtful, he is an extremely dangerous individual to irritate, and if you challenge him he will be at your throat before you can finish telling him so; something that he's learned since coming to Hell, where rules only apply if it's convenient for the most powerful. At heart Lucifer is still an angel and he is innately understanding and gentle, but there are edges to him that were not present before -- a certain bitterness, even a sadism, that would horrify his old friends.
The Timekeeper
counterpart to Gabriel
Never leaves Hell: those who summon him come to his place. He is very tall and skinny, and has long trailing white hair and very pointed features, and a permanent scowl on his face. Underneath the folds of his long gold robes and decorating the walls of his chambers he carries millions upon millions of watches -- elegant old-fashioned pocketwatches and vast grandfather clocks, each of them engraved with a name and tick-tick-ticking away the life of a mortal. At the end of the world when Gabriel sounds his horn, all these watches and all these clocks will toll, calling the armies of Hell into the world.
Lilith
counterpart to Raphael
The ultimate in sex, a succubus queen who will do literally anything. Dark and voluptuous and predatory, this demon just seems to drip sensuality, to the point where even the most mature and confident supermodels would seem like children playing at being women. She appreciates Raphael's methods of healing, but she certainly doesn't do what she does for that reason -- no, she does it for power. Seducing Lucifer proved unfortunately impossible, but she tried.
Heimdall
counterpart to Uriel
There is a river in the first ring of Hell, but there is also an intangible bridge stretching straight into the epicenter; on that bridge is Heimdall. He rarely leaves Hell and cannot be summoned, and like Uriel (who is the guardian of Eden) protects the Bifrost Bridge from all entrants. Typically a very large man, handsome and with gold teeth, Heimdall is relatively placid and good-natured, although he occasionally grows impatient from boredom and wanders about, searching for something "interesting".
The Leviathan (also Tiamat)
counterpart to Camael
Unable to be summoned or conjured in any significant way. The Leviathan's spirit is sealed entirely within Camael's being, but believe me, she spends every moment seeking to break him down and escape him -- physically, or mentally -- and in doing so, bring about an early beginning to the end of the world, but she's not particularly interested when the alternative is eternity sealed within an angel. The Leviathan is, um, a very large serpent, but she has also been known to appear in person as a short, sloe-eyed woman of Middle Eastern coloring.
Shiva
counterpart to Jophiel
With black skin and blue throat, four arms and three eyes, Shiva is certainly the most outwardly improbable-looking of the grand demons. A power of destruction but not of death or disorder, he can often be found in meditation or dancing; he is soft-spoken and slow to anger. He is, if anything, the inspirational side of destruction, as Jophiel is the inspirational side of creation, and the archangel envies him his confidence.
John Milton
counterpart to Raziel
Yes, you read that right. Milton. Brown hair just past his shoulders, dresses as if he still lives in 1650, totally blind even as a demon. He's one of a very few number of mortals to be posthumously granted celestial status; Michael was, perhaps understandably, not fond of Milton's portrayal of himself (...close to truth though it may have been), and all but threw him to Lucifer, who promptly made him a grand demon. After some small amount of initial confusion, John got used to his situation. He's currently something of an adjutant to Lucifer, and is by his side more often than not. He, like Raziel, chronicles history, but from a much different perspective. He has some powers of intuition and clairvoyance -- also like Raziel, he isn't much for combat or any such.
Other notable figures in the upper hierarchies of Hell
--Beelzebub, Ozymandias, Charon, Hades. Probably several other afterlife-associated or figures you've heard of.
--Tabitha, the Queen of Hell. A girl who fell in love with Lucifer when he was bargaining with her father, and who literally sacrificed everything and did horrible things for a lot of demons in order to be with him in what is, no joke, a somewhat scary sort of obsession. But he was very impressed with her dedication, and really felt like he owed her a chance after all that. The obsession got reversed somewhere along the line after she got what she wanted (him) and soon she was content and he was the one obsessed. She stopped aging after that; she is quite literally an immortal mortal, for as long as Lucifer wills it. She does a great deal of administrative desk-type work.
Aaaaand... I think that's everything. Whew.
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Have you ever read To Reign in Hell by Steven Brust? It's another story in which there are celestial misunderstandings. Not his best writing, but the story is interesting if you're into playing with myths.
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