D. Gray-man, "Heart-deep" (Lavi/Allen)

[sincere]

A tragic discovery almost tears Allen and Lavi apart! But some things go beyond skin-deep.

Warnings: Some mild humorous craziness abounds, followed by fluff. Contains mild AU / crackpot theories. Some spoilers up to the bloody windowsill in the 169th Night.
Written for apapazukamori, who wanted a fic about finding out who Lavi's father is.


.heart-deep.
Allen was, literally, the last person in the Order to find out about it. He was so literally the last person in the Order to find out about it that he actually found out from a Finder he had never met before.

It was his master's name that caught at his attention. "I'm sorry?" he asked the man behind him, turning away from Link. "Did you say..." His voice trailed off. There was still something so sensitive about the name, resented and raw and touching.

The man straightened, sitting almost at attention, his white coat falling sharply around him. "Oh-- The chief decided to deal with General Cross's personal effects. He had a will stored with the grand marshals..."

"Oh," Allen said numbly. "I didn't even know he had -- effects." He imagined a vault somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a box of empty wine bottles. Would Komui take the man's debts into account before or after he distributed his belongings?

The Finder's expression eased, sympathetic. He had no idea what Allen was feeling. "Don't worry, Mister Walker. I heard that aside from a small settlement for his son, all of his effects were left to you."

Then the world froze, and stayed frozen for the next five hours until the bastard's bastard found him.

"His son?"

"His only known son," Link corrected clinically from the other side of the table. "And likely, if not for the Bookman's calling, no one would have known of him either."

Cross's son, he thought.

Lavi is Master's son.

"His son?" he asked. He was perfectly calm. Perhaps eerily calm.

Lavi jumped and went white. It was some time later. He didn't know how much later, but it was dark outside the window of Lavi's room. He didn't know how he'd gotten here or how he'd escaped Link, or how Lavi hadn't noticed him enter the room. He was apparently quite cunning when he was losing long periods of time.

"Holy shit Allen-- I didn't know," the redhead said quickly.

Redhead. He didn't even know any other redheads. How could he not have seen it before. "You didn't know."

"No! Gramps knew, but he never told me. I swear to god I'm totally innocent."

Allen considered these words slowly, turning them over. They made sense. Bookman was very fond of keeping his secrets, and it wasn't surprising that he kept them even from Lavi. The older boy had never been very specific about the details of his job, but Allen was certain that any emotional connections to the person he'd been before becoming Bookman Junior would be considered an annoyance. Why would Bookman have told him who he used to be when he hadn't even been allowed to keep his name?

Lavi took advantage of his silence, telling him reassuringly, "I'm just as surprised as you are." He stepped forward, stretching out his arms to embrace Allen.

And was met with a hand on his chest, holding him a few feet away. Allen eyed him suspiciously. That was what Cross would do. Move in for the 'reassuring' gesture and then 'casually' turn it into something more. Oh no, not gonna happen.

For a moment they stood there like that, and then Lavi said plaintively, "I haven't changed."

Slowly, Allen relaxed, admitted, "That's true." He studied Lavi for a long moment -- patently overdone hopeful expression aside, he was still the same person. And... that person had just learned that a man of his acquaintance, recently pronounced dead, was his father.

It was impossible not to relent in that context. "Sorry," he murmured, stepping forward to wrap his arms tightly around the taller youth, offering that small amount of support. "I was being selfish. I know -- this can't be easy for you, either."

Lavi let out a relieved breath and hugged him back. "Getting and losing a dad in one evening was definitely something I wasn't prepared for."

Allen smiled slightly. "Don't worry. Master wouldn't die so easily." You'd have to at least cut off his head and burn his remains, he thought darkly, but it didn't seem appropriate to say to the man's -- son. "In a few weeks I'm certain I'll be receiving an envelope stuffed full of his latest bills."

Lavi laughed, squeezing him a little. "Funny. I was going to say that to you."

"He's your father."

"He's your master. I don't even know the guy." He could feel Lavi's lips rustling his hair. "He's still yours."

Allen huffed out a breath. It was a ridiculous thing to say; it wasn't like his reaction was anything related to jealousy. He was reasonably certain that disgust was the opposite of jealousy, in fact. But he'd already decided to minimize his censuring of Lavi's newfound father, so...

He stepped forward, urging Lavi back a step, until they were close enough that he could tug them both down to the bed. Lavi followed, and he was grinning when Allen looked up at him. His hands slid lower to Allen's belt.

"Don't push your luck," Allen muttered darkly. He wasn't that okay with this yet.

Chastised, Lavi's hands withdrew and he just sprawled over the bedspread, sighing dramatically. Allen slid close against him and they curled up together, enjoying the silence, the comfort of one another's presence. The intimacy made it easier for the confused whirling of Allen's thoughts to slow, for him to center again.

"...what was your birth name?" Allen asked after a beat.

Lavi stiffened slightly, the fingers on Allen's shoulder ceasing their idle petting. "Where'd that come from?" he asked

Allen shook his head a little. It was a silly question, and unimportant. Of course he wasn't going to start calling him by it; he imagined how uncomfortable he would be if Lavi started calling him by his birth name, if he'd even had one. He just... suddenly wondered what it would sound like, with his birth father's last name.

Jack Cross? Ian Cross? It was surprisingly hard to find names that sounded like... Lavi.

After a long moment of silence, Lavi told him, adding lightly, "Don't get too attached to it. Gramps would beat the stuffing out of me if he knew I'd told you."

Allen smiled against his shirt. "I won't," he promised. "That was all I needed to know."

Comments

[emudii.livejournal.com]

Found this, compliments of apapazukamori. I've always liked the idea of Lavi being Cross' illegitimate son, but I hadn't pondered too hard on just how hard Allen would take that sort of news. Poor kid. I'm sure it's a mood-killer, attaching his Master's face to his boyfriend. XD;

[sincere]

After seeing this picture of younger!Cross, it's been hard for me to unsee it. XD I can only imagine how much worse it would be for Allen. I'm glad you liked it~

[emudii.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. *AUGHTITCANNOTBEUNSEEN* DX *HOLDS EYES* I'm almost happy that I cannot see more than the SNAP! of that. There's a 403 attached to it. But... but... ASDFGHJKL; *brain melts* Well. Now I know how Allen feels. D:

Somehow, it was much funnier back before I could visualize it. Now I feel bad for Lavi and what I'm about to write. (She snagged me too, for this prompt.)

[apapazukamori.livejournal.com]

So. Much. LOVE.

In particular: Allen being the last to know and how you set him up to find out; "the bastard's bastard"; Lavi's gestures suddenly suspect (XD); and Allen trying to find a name he thought fit Lavi.

Also, how you handled the name was slick. Almost as if you couldn't find one that would fit, either. (I know I can't. XD ♥ )

Thaaaaank yoooooou.

[sincere]

You're soooo welcome! :D NOW I NEED ANOTHER PROMPT

I ran through a lot of names there, but Jack and Ian were the only ones that came even close. XD And Jack is such a nondescript name, I'd say it would totally already have been one of his cover names, but the only cover names we know are "Lavi" and "Deke," neither of which I would really call nondescript, so... (Although if we go with "Dick," as some of the Japanese seem to, that's a little more common.)

Of course, his name wasn't the point as much as the fact that he was willing to share it. :3 That was -- something.

[crysiana.livejournal.com]

To be fair, Allen was a redhead. Let's all just turn THAT one over in our heads for a while.

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

Not really a redhead, I don't think? More like brown haired, I seem to remember?

[crysiana.livejournal.com]

Well, true. Auburn, more.

[sincere]

I'm with allira_dream on the brunet/auburn-haired theory. Allen vehemently denies having any shade of red hair.

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

Pfffft this is one of those theories that never fail to make me laugh when I find them. Fabulous and hilarious and at the same time, d'awwww for fluff.

I love the idea of Allen suddenly going black over this. I think that would be a very Allen reaction if this happened to be true.

[sincere]

It's a good thing Lavi really likes him. He becomes an evil bitch at sometimes unpredictable moments. X3 This would be one of the more predictable ones, I think~

I'm so glad you like ♥

[ganzxel.livejournal.com]

He imagined a vault somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a box of empty wine bottles.

hehehe... that is just like cross isn't it.

This is a concept i have been thinking too. Two redheads with 'problematic' right eye - coincidence? i think not! and definitely not after Debitto's comment that Lavi remind him of Cross!

[libekory.livejournal.com]

I kind of like Isaac Cross, myself. <--feels like some mutant combination of Ian and Jack, but struck her

But I love that you don't tell us. Lavi told Allen; he didn't tell the internet. :3 And I adore Lavi for reassuring Allen in the way he didn't need, that Cross that one person he'd grown up with is still his.

The time losing is also adorable.

[love-michiyuki.livejournal.com]

He's still yours.

Lavi is so cute ♥

[sincere]

He's a sweet guy. ♥ Despite himself. X3

[sailormac.livejournal.com]

I've believed Cross is Lavi's father for some time now, but this is the best take I've seen on it yet. Allen's reactions to Lavi are very believable, and the scene at the end where they regained their old intimacy was sweet as hell. And, yes, I can most definitely see the Panda knowing and keeping it from Lavi. Poor Allen, having to find it out from a Finder . . . It all felt like canon, with shonen ai thrown in.

[sincere]

sakanagi below pointed out that biologically speaking, it's impossible -- Cross's blood type is AB and Lavi's is O, so unless Hoshino bothered to give them blood types but doesn't actually have enough interest in them to know how they work (or doesn't care) (both could make sense! XD ), it shouldn't be possible that Cross is his father. (AB is the one bloodtype that can't have O-type kids.) Allen is sooo relieved.

But that doesn't make the theory any less fun. XD I'm glad you think I handled it well, la. I always feel a little silly when I end up pretending that a non-canon relationship already exists in the established timeline. orz

[sakanagi.livejournal.com]

XD This story is great. I loved the way Allen reacted.

Though, I've heard that Cross definitely can't be Lavi's father, because the fanbook reveals their blood types to be AB and O respectively. A pity, since they do look a bit alike.

[sincere]

I double-checked my scans and you're right. It's biologically impossible for Cross to be Lavi's father (assuming Hoshino doesn't just magic up an explanation XD )

But the fun is in experimenting with the possibility! I admitted up front that it was a crackpot theory, but you've got to admit Allen's reactions would make it worth it. X3

[sakanagi.livejournal.com]

A little thing like fictional characters' blood types should not be allowed to stand in the way of wonderful crackfic. ^^ And well, some fan theories are that Cross isn't even human (too cool for humanity? XD), so who knows, such things could just be cosmetic.

...I sort-of wish that someone being Cross's kid would end up as canon, just to see Allen's expression - but then he'd go around treating them so suspiciously that it'd get pretty weird in the long run. So it's something best left to fanfic!

[monelisa.livejournal.com]

ha~ *w* I love it when people use ideas that people have thought of as a fanfic; it'd be so funny if that was the case though it's not all that probable ^^;

It was very realistic; you can see traces of Cross' personality traits in Lavi here :] good job!

[danybel.livejournal.com]

i finally read it!! LOL
I liked it, this is the first time ever i see a story where lavi is cross' son. I imagined that, yes, but never saw it written before.
Really good xD